Ramblings of Stephanie's day....

I went to see Mom yesterday....trying to get there before she had to have her morphine. So my day went a little like this~

Ran around the house like a chicken w/head cut off, made some phone calls, made pancakes for the boys (Scott and Skylar), did my sit-ups, threw in some laundry and out the door around 1045am or so. Ran out of gas at the end of the neighborhood...YAY!!! I had to get out and start pushing the car (second time I've done this....stupid red car gas gauge lies!!), some neighborhood man stopped to help me (THANK YOU, NEIGHBORHOOD MAN, DALE)...he took me to gas station w/his gas can and we got some gas, he put it in my car and followed me back to gas station to make sure I made it. So far, I'm thinking....WAFD (what a f'ing day). I just need to get to my Mom's house. I need a Xanax already.

Got to the Mobile Home park and they are paving the roadways. So I had to park at the mailboxes and walk through to get to mom's house, (uuuuugggghhhhh!) in time to say "hi and I love you" and a little visiting, before the morphine. Dad had been calling me wondering where I was...stressing me out! Lauralei was also wanting to spend some time (as she was flying out the next day to go back home) w/me and vise versa, so I took her over to the Cold Stone Creamery, since we had both never been there before :) I stayed and visted until around 530pm.....I was about to leave around 4, but Mom said, "Awwwww.....", so I asked her if she wanted me to stay a little longer and she did....so I did! (I'm still stressing out that I left the boys for longer than I wanted to today and that I had to make dinner for my husband, since he goes to bed about 730). I got mom to eat some VEGGIE BEEF SOUP, one of those handheld "t0-go" soups...She drank about 1/8 of it, better than nothing!

I read her some of her poems, there was a funny one about her fishing off the river dock at our neighbors house in Baring and her catching a 4lb steelehead. I read it to her and she seemed to really enjoy it.

I made it home a little before 7pm I think...made salad and spaghetti for hubby and Scott. Skylar wanted mac n cheese.

Ahhhh, finally a cold beer, hubby telling me he is feeling unloved by me....what more could I ask for? I say another Xanax before I freak the hell out on someone~

It's so hard to show your own family they are loved when you are worried about your dying Mom. I feel like I'm dying too.