Sunday, March 30, 2014
Happy Birthday Yesterday! Pansies Planted.
It was your Birthday yesterday, Mom. I've known all month, week....that it was your b-day on the 29th. Of course, I waited until the evening of your b-day to go buy the pansies to plant, but I did it :) You would be 79, as Dad turned 75 this past October! Oh, how he misses you. He has your pictures hung up, your marriage license & death certificate too. He also has a shelf with your favorite things & doesn't hesitate in getting a chance to talk about you. I refer to you often with the kids too, "G-ma Lorrie would have..." - Scott has told me, on a couple of different occasions, that out of all his G-mas - you really felt like a real "G-ma", unconditional hugs & love, Mom. Thank you & I freaking miss you. Happy Birthday, yesterday! Love, Your Darling Clementine
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
It's your birthday today, Mom...
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
It's your birthday today,
And I'll always love you!!
Writing a 'roses are red poem' is bittersweet through tear filled eyes. I've held it together all day, but wish I could spend today with you. BUT....we all know what they say about wishes! If wishes were fishes, we'd catch one everyday....If fishes were wishes, they'd all float away!
Happy Birthday to you, Mom!
Violets are Blue,
It's your birthday today,
And I'll always love you!!
Writing a 'roses are red poem' is bittersweet through tear filled eyes. I've held it together all day, but wish I could spend today with you. BUT....we all know what they say about wishes! If wishes were fishes, we'd catch one everyday....If fishes were wishes, they'd all float away!
Happy Birthday to you, Mom!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
It's been 5 months and I still think she is coming back...
I miss my mom so much. Sometimes I find myself trying not to think of her, so I wont be sad she isn't coming back.
My dad is doing alright. He's had some lonely moments, but he has his dog, Jackie (thank goodness!!). Dad is getting accustomed to apartment living. He doesn't have enough room for all their "junk", but is happy that the weather is allowing him and Jackie to go outside some now. He is coming over for dinner once a week now...he seems to enjoy it :) I always send him home with left overs! It's still hard to see my Dad without my Mom. I find my mind wandering sometimes....what if something happens to my Dad. Growing up sucks in this retrospect.
I've been chatting and texting with Lauralei quite a bit. She would call mom every day and have a chat, so we try to use each other for the "dumb life stuff" that we used to talk to mom about. Mom always loved hearing from us no matter what.
I wasn't sure what I should do with this "blog"now...I don't have alot to say, but thought I would post something.
~Dad, Skylar and Jackie~
~Steph
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Everett Herald Obituary for Mom
Posted in the Everett Herald today, September 19th.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/heraldnet/obituary.aspx?n=claudine-nina-jorgensen-lorrie&pid=145504088
One correction/typo to note: she was defiantly "one-of-a-kind!" - should read she was definitely "one-of-a-kind!"
We sure miss her...yep, we sure do!
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/heraldnet/obituary.aspx?n=claudine-nina-jorgensen-lorrie&pid=145504088
One correction/typo to note: she was defiantly "one-of-a-kind!" - should read she was definitely "one-of-a-kind!"
We sure miss her...yep, we sure do!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Poems for Lorrie's Friends & Family
Written for Steven, husband~1984
You are my light in my darkness of my mind.
You light my way through all my frightened dreams & cold yesterdays.
You are my light that brings on many tomorrows & clears away of all my sorrow.
Written for Juanita, daughter ~2002
Time and time again you can be told words of love, but do you ever hear those words,
that say I LOVE YOU!
Written for Victor B. Malkowski, in rememberence of his Son, Ernest David, from a mother who loved him~2003
My ashes were sent off to in the waters of our mother, the earth, who bears all creatures.
My ashes were sent off to be with my brothers, the fish, whose bodies gleam in the sunlight.
My ashes were sent off to be with my creator, who makes all things big and small alike.
My ashes were sent off to with love in my Father's heart and tears in my Father's eyes.
Writen for daughter, Lauralei~1987
Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei, you are so beautiful to me, you are like a mermaid out upon the sea. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei do you sing a siren's song, or to me do you belong. Oh Lauraleit, sweet Lauralei do you sit upon the rocks in the water there, do you sing to ship passing in air. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei.
Written for Stephanie, 1978
My Little Girl
There is my little girl whose mind is in a whirl, See her spin & see her twirl.
She runs with hair a flying, she turns on a smile without even trying.
She is fair & she is fine, she will always be mine.
Hair so blonde & skin a shine, that wonderous little girl of mine.
Written for Douglas, Son, 1979
I keep waiting for a ride up there to see your face light up with Joy & Care, then we'll sit in ole' straight back chair while we talk and visit awhile. You see me grin & I see you smile, then I'll leave after awhile.
Written for Douglas, Son 1988
God put some people here to sing their songs, God put some people here to do their dancing. Got put some people here to till their the lands, God put some people here to work with their hands. Go put me here to do all those things & love to you my son and hope for you my and all this brings.
Written for Steven, husband, 1985
You are perfect in my eyes, just the same as sunny skies. You can do no wrong, to me you belong.
Written for Grace, Mother-in-Law, 1985
A Mother
A mother is warm, sunny & bright, a mother loves you at first sight. A mother tucks you in bed at night, a mother is one you love with all your might.
Written for herself, Lorrie
Granny
Once upon a time there was a smokin-tokin granny a sittin in her rockin chair,
She was so high, she thought she was on a rocket ship, going up to the sky,
But there she sits and it's all a lie.
Written for Stacie Lee, Grandaughter 1992
Shining Star of my life, your bright eyes & sunny smiles bring light to my heart & eyes. You are a treasure, my heart's desire and your special beauty is that of which I will never tire.
Written in Rememberence of George Jorgensen, Father-in-Law
My Father's Funeral
My father lay in a casket one grey and dreary day, all his friends had come from miles around to have their say. We all stood above him with tears and love in our eyes, everyone praying for his passing byes. We placed his favorite hat there upon his chest, we pressed it down lovingly upone his breast. The preacher prayed and said his words, his voice was like a thousand firey swords. Songs were sung in a beautiful voice, song that said, Oh, Lord he didn't die by choice." My mother, brothers, and sister were there along with me, all of us thinking our father is free, then came the geese to carry his spirit and angels are singing & can't you hear it.
Written for herself~Lorrie
On the Road~1978
As I travel along lifes lonely ole' road, I'll never fail to carry my load.
I carry my tent upon my back, a silver sword & old brown pack,
Of friends and fools I'll never lack.
Then I'll settle down and rest a spell, come listen to the songs & stories I tell.
SAY~2003
When I am dying, what will you say.
When I am Dead, what will you say.
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish I had said I love you."
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish I had called more often."
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish I had kissed or hugged you more often."
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish you were here again."
Were you Mine~1993
Were you mine, were you mine, did you touch my hand, were you mine.
Were you mine , were you here If only only for a moment in time
Were you mine, were you mine, were you here or only a dream in my mind.
Were you mine, were you mine.
1979
Smile at a stranger & he'll be a stranger no more.
Smile at an enemy & there will be no war.
Written for the Seattle Supersonics Basketball Team~1980
Our Great Seattle Super Sonics, they don't have super bionics.
Nor do they take super tonics, but they are our Wonderous Thunderous Supersonics!
When you want me~2006
When you want me, pretend I am standing right next to you.
When you need me, pretend I am standing right next to you.
When you want a hug, pretend my arms are around you & I am standing right next to you.
When I go from this life, pretend I am standing right next to you, because I really am.
You are my light in my darkness of my mind.
You light my way through all my frightened dreams & cold yesterdays.
You are my light that brings on many tomorrows & clears away of all my sorrow.
Written for Juanita, daughter ~2002
Time and time again you can be told words of love, but do you ever hear those words,
that say I LOVE YOU!
Written for Victor B. Malkowski, in rememberence of his Son, Ernest David, from a mother who loved him~2003
My ashes were sent off to in the waters of our mother, the earth, who bears all creatures.
My ashes were sent off to be with my brothers, the fish, whose bodies gleam in the sunlight.
My ashes were sent off to be with my creator, who makes all things big and small alike.
My ashes were sent off to with love in my Father's heart and tears in my Father's eyes.
Writen for daughter, Lauralei~1987
Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei, you are so beautiful to me, you are like a mermaid out upon the sea. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei do you sing a siren's song, or to me do you belong. Oh Lauraleit, sweet Lauralei do you sit upon the rocks in the water there, do you sing to ship passing in air. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei.
Written for Stephanie, daughter, 1978
I speak to you of many things, golden ships and butterfly wings, monkey's talils and sparkling rings. I tell you of mermaids and giants in the sky & of all the fairytales that never die.
Written for Stephanie, 1978
My Little Girl
There is my little girl whose mind is in a whirl, See her spin & see her twirl.
She runs with hair a flying, she turns on a smile without even trying.
She is fair & she is fine, she will always be mine.
Hair so blonde & skin a shine, that wonderous little girl of mine.
Written for Douglas, Son, 1979
I keep waiting for a ride up there to see your face light up with Joy & Care, then we'll sit in ole' straight back chair while we talk and visit awhile. You see me grin & I see you smile, then I'll leave after awhile.
Written for Douglas, Son 1988
God put some people here to sing their songs, God put some people here to do their dancing. Got put some people here to till their the lands, God put some people here to work with their hands. Go put me here to do all those things & love to you my son and hope for you my and all this brings.
Written for Steven, husband, 1985
You are perfect in my eyes, just the same as sunny skies. You can do no wrong, to me you belong.
Written for Grace, Mother-in-Law, 1985
A Mother
A mother is warm, sunny & bright, a mother loves you at first sight. A mother tucks you in bed at night, a mother is one you love with all your might.
Written for herself, Lorrie
Granny
Once upon a time there was a smokin-tokin granny a sittin in her rockin chair,
She was so high, she thought she was on a rocket ship, going up to the sky,
But there she sits and it's all a lie.
Written for Stacie Lee, Grandaughter 1992
Shining Star of my life, your bright eyes & sunny smiles bring light to my heart & eyes. You are a treasure, my heart's desire and your special beauty is that of which I will never tire.
Written in Rememberence of George Jorgensen, Father-in-Law
My Father's Funeral
My father lay in a casket one grey and dreary day, all his friends had come from miles around to have their say. We all stood above him with tears and love in our eyes, everyone praying for his passing byes. We placed his favorite hat there upon his chest, we pressed it down lovingly upone his breast. The preacher prayed and said his words, his voice was like a thousand firey swords. Songs were sung in a beautiful voice, song that said, Oh, Lord he didn't die by choice." My mother, brothers, and sister were there along with me, all of us thinking our father is free, then came the geese to carry his spirit and angels are singing & can't you hear it.
Written for herself~Lorrie
On the Road~1978
As I travel along lifes lonely ole' road, I'll never fail to carry my load.
I carry my tent upon my back, a silver sword & old brown pack,
Of friends and fools I'll never lack.
Then I'll settle down and rest a spell, come listen to the songs & stories I tell.
SAY~2003
When I am dying, what will you say.
When I am Dead, what will you say.
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish I had said I love you."
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish I had called more often."
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish I had kissed or hugged you more often."
Will you say, "Hey, Mom, I wish you were here again."
Were you Mine~1993
Were you mine, were you mine, did you touch my hand, were you mine.
Were you mine , were you here If only only for a moment in time
Were you mine, were you mine, were you here or only a dream in my mind.
Were you mine, were you mine.
1979
Smile at a stranger & he'll be a stranger no more.
Smile at an enemy & there will be no war.
Written for the Seattle Supersonics Basketball Team~1980
Our Great Seattle Super Sonics, they don't have super bionics.
Nor do they take super tonics, but they are our Wonderous Thunderous Supersonics!
When you want me~2006
When you want me, pretend I am standing right next to you.
When you need me, pretend I am standing right next to you.
When you want a hug, pretend my arms are around you & I am standing right next to you.
When I go from this life, pretend I am standing right next to you, because I really am.
Copy of Mom's Obituary
Claudine Nina Jorgensen"LORRIE"
Lorrie, of Marysville, Washington was 76 years young when she passed away at home, her husband, Steven, was at her side holding her hand, on the early morning of Sunday, September 5th, 2010. Lorrie suffered with Lung Disease & Leukemia.
Lorrie was born March 29th, 1934 in Los Angeles, California.
She is survived by many family members. Firstly, her "Sweetheart" and Husband, Steven Wayne Jorgensen, being happily married to him for over 41+ years; Marysville. Daughter, Stephanie Annette Seeds; husband William; three grandchildren, Stacie, Scott and Skylar; Granite Falls, WA. Mother-in-Law, whom she lovingly thought of as her own mother, Grace Jorgensen and in loving memory of her Father-in-Law, George Jorgensen; Sioux Falls, SD.
Lorrie had two marriages prior to her life with Steven.
Her first Marriage she had two children; survived by both. Son, Simeon Douglas Omeha; grandson, Sidney; Seattle, WA. Daughter, Violet Marie Fegan; grandchildren, Gabriel, Jacqueline; Harrisburg, PA.
During Lorrie's second Marriage she had five children and is survived by four.
Son, Victor Allen Malkowski; two granddaughters, Angela and Kathleen; St. Louis, MO
Son, Larry Dale Malkowski; wife Donna; St. Louis, MO
Daughter, Lauralei Binns; husband Jerry; four grandchildren, Michael, Dusty, Samuel and Veronica; Clayton, NC
Daughter, Juanita Maria Barry; husband Dave; four grandchildren, Stevie, David, Elizabeth and Sarah; Colorado Springs, CO
Preceded in death by a Son, Ernest David Malkowski; survived by four grandchildren, Tina, Lil' Ernie, Lil' Juanita and Brian.
Lorrie had much love to give and pass around, even if she didn't know you, she would try to make friends with you. Some of her most memorable and passionate interests that will be remembered include playing her Fender guitar and singing on the back porch, having a drink or two (she could make a great screwdriver!), writing poems & short stories, drawing pictures in charcoal pencil, crewel embroidery, crocheting colorful blankets, macramé, crossword puzzles, camping, fishing, being outdoors, going to swap meets, gardening, playing online and e-mailing her pen-pal friends. Lorrie will always be remembered for her many collections; stamps, key chains, buttons, driftwood, pipes, Mickey Mouse, knives/swords and buying many unusual things at garage sales. May it also be known that Lorrie always loved fried chicken!
Lorrie’s lifetime dream, upon her death, was to have her body donated to the Willed Body Program at the University of Washington in Seattle. She was accepted and this dream of hers was fulfilled! Lorrie’s wishes were not to have a funeral or a memorial.
Written by Lorrie in 2006
~Standing Right Next to You~
When you want me, pretend I am standing right next to you,
When you need me, pretend I am standing right next to you,
When you want a hug, pretend my arms are around you and I’m standing right next to you,
When I go from this life, pretend I am standing right next to you, because I really am.
When you need me, pretend I am standing right next to you,
When you want a hug, pretend my arms are around you and I’m standing right next to you,
When I go from this life, pretend I am standing right next to you, because I really am.
On behalf of Lorrie and family we would have also like to give a big heartfelt thanks to her Hospice Nurse, Suzanne and her Caregiver, Jill for all of their support during a most difficult time in her life.
As Lorrie would say, “Vaya Con Dios!!”
Monday, September 6, 2010
~Sunday, September 5th~
~Sunday, September 5th - Mom slept in this morning, she passed away around 6:10 am
William and I went over Saturday morning, around 1130. William helped Dad move a few heavy objects to the new apartment and I stayed with Mom....Skylar was at his friend's house. We left around 330pm. Dad called me back Saturday evening around 700pm and said I might want to come back over. Mom doesn't sound good, she was gasping short shallow breaths and not responding to him. I went over and spent a few hours sitting w/her and Dad. I lit up her candle and put her little sweet gifts around it. I got a cold washcloth and put it on her forehead and temples. I kept getting the washcloth cold and putting it on the palms of her hands and behind her neck...I was hoping to get some response. Dad had called Hospice and they advised him to give her a double dose of her morphine, he did and it didn't do anything to help, so they said give her one more dose; that didn't do anything either. Next, they said to give her a smashed up Lorazapam pill and liquid morphine in a spoon and put it under her tongue. When I brought the spoon, I said to her, "I am giving you some medicine to go under your tongue" and she lifted her tongue up and took the medicine. She still had alot of crackling and short gasps of air, so I took her "inhaler" and when she breathed in I gave her a couple puffs. She seemed to settle down with the crackling "rattle" sound some and seemed to be resting peacefully now. A Hospice Nurse showed up and said she probably wouldn't wake up again and would most likely stay in a coma like sleep (but, we heard that before, but this time we sorta knew she was right).
I sat with mom, rubbed her arm and held her hand feeling her pulse until I left. I covered her up good and told her what a good woman she is. I left around 10:30, I think.
I woke up on Sunday, leaned over and grabbed my cell phone and called my Dad. He said he doesn't think he can find a pulse and he doesn't think she is breathing. I got up...and was out the door within a matter of minutes. I arrived and Mom was not breathing and she had no pulse, she was still warm, but not breathing anymore. We stood there in shock for a little bit and then I just loved on my mom and covered her up to keep her warm.
Dad called Hospice and advised them that she was gone. Mom's long time dream was to always have her body donated to science to help other people learn about the human body. She was signed up with the Willed Body Program at the University of Washington. The UW came and picked her up after a couple of hours of being notified this morning. Such a selfless act, that is what she was known for.
I stayed with my Dad until around 630pm~We packed up some of the glassware in the Living Room and reminisced. A long time family friend, Kim, came over to see us for awhile too. It was a really sad day knowing that we will not be able to see her or talk to her or hear her anymore.
Monday, Septemeber 6th~Dad came over for Dinner :)
- I do want to thank everyone for the warm wishes and condolences. Mom Lorrie was One-of-a-kind ;) THANK YOU.
Poems by Mom - Lorrie Jorgensen
Just a few thoughts
~Just a few thoughts traveling through my head, Sometimes I wish they were out instead. Oh, that I could write them all down, Instead of acting like a clown. All the things I want to say, but there inside my head they stay.
~We are all God's Children and for him we must strive to be the best we can throughout our whole life.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Deep Sleeping lately...
The last few days have kinda been blurred into one. Today is Sept 1st for me, but I will probably post this tomorrow.
August 30th-Monday~I don't think I went over today...that's right, I worked on my yard.
August 31st-Tuesday~Hmmmm, that was only yesterday....Oh yes, Skylar and I went over. I helped Dad move a few things from dining room to spare room, wall hangings and such. Dad got his approval for the apartment in Arlington. Mom hasn't been opening her eyes much the last couple days. I brought a little heart candle holder and a few candles for mom.
September 1st-Wednesday~It's a new month :) Mom slept most all day on this day, barely spoke at all. I went over in the morning w/Skylar for awhile and she had the "rattle breathing" pretty badly. Dad took Skylar over to Target to buy a Pokemon toy...that was nice :) Skylar is such a trooper! I came back around 730-800pm and sat w/mom for awhile, a couple of times it seemed like she really wanted to talk, but couldn't. I just sat there and held her hand and told her, "everyone is fine, everyone is good." (She was probably trying to tell me to shut up and quit rubbing her arm and hand.....lol)
September 2nd-Thursday~Dad called me at 8:15am and said keeps telling him, "it's time, it's time" and pointing at her Mickey Mouse watch....then Dad realized her oxygen machine was unplugged!! He thinks maybe the dog was chasing a "rat" and got the cord unplugged...poor mom~!! She was coherant and I talked to her for a bit...her "rattled breathing" sounded pretty bad, Dad gave her some secretion dry up medicine, but he said it didn't really do anything to help yet. I was able to have Skylar go to his friend's house for the day and I am now headed up to visit.
~One of Mom's Poems~
We have sent food to a distant land, we have fed our brethren, we have fed other man, we must now send food to our own Glorious land, we must feed our own USA man.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Give her and inch and she wants a mile!
August 28th~SaturdayI stayed home today and worked on my yard, but I talked to Mom on the phone in the morning. She got on the phone and said, "HEEELLLLOOOO, STEPHANIEEEEE" and so I said, "HELLO, MOOOOOMMMMM." She was in good spirits today. She requested a crewel embroidery, so I told her I would try to find a beginner one or a kid one that she can try. Who knows....whatever she wants, right?
August 29th~Sunday
Mom really enjoyed her beer on Thursday that now she had my Dad get her one on Saturday and is now requesting a Screwdriver Drink! Give her and inch and she wants a mile! Granted now, she quit drinking quite some ago, but it was always her drink of choice. (I've heard that some people have swabbed the mouths of a dying person w/their liquor they used to drink.) I stopped at the Liquor Store in Granite Falls (open on Sunday) and picked her up two little baby bottles of Absolute and an OJ.
Dad went to the Smokey Point Swap Meet yesterday and again today to make extra $. Our caregiver leaves at 2pm on Sunday, so I needed to be there until Dad got home at about 3pm. Dad brought home a really nice card from nice Swap Meet Friends that knew Mom, they also gave her some nice Silver Dollar coins, that was very nice of them. Mom was doing pretty good when I got her today. I fixed her pillow under her legs to be under her calves/not her knees, so her heals would not have any bed pressure. I also made little tents to keep the blanket pressure off her some too. She asked me what I was doing, with a puzzled iratated look....I told her I was trying to make her all comfy (she's like 'whatever').
Dad got home, a little before 3pm and I heated up the Chili that the Caregiver made for them; they both enjoyed it :) Mom ate about a good 8-10 bites! I smashed it up a little and made sure she got some beans.
Mom wanted her Screwdriver drink, so I made her a half of a drink in her Mickey Mouse cup. I had let her hold the little bottle of Vodka and asked her, "Now, how do I make a Screwdriver?" She wouldn't tell me, because she said , "You and Christine knew how to make one." LOL! I asked her if she could taste the Vodka and she said, "YEP, YEP, YEP!!" LOL!
I vacuumed up the house really good and did some laundry. Dad has been in the process of moving some belongings to a Storage Unit lately and will most likely start setting up the new Apartment in Arlington as soon as the paperwork is final (probably Sept 1st). He does not plan on completely moving out of the Mobile Home until October. The room where Mom sleeps (living room) is untouched.
A little later, around 5pm Mom wouldn't wake up for us! I would say, "Lorrie, Mom, Mother...Open your eyes." She wouldn't budge. My Dad got pretty worried, thought she had a stroke or something.....I felt for her pulse and it was good and she was breathing. My Dad called the Hospice Hotline and a Nurse was going to come by and see her. We finally got her to respond to us a little and Dad said, "how come you didn't answer us?" and she said, "because I didn't want to." I told her she worried Dad and she said, "that's stupid" Oh dear.....poor Dad!
The Nurse came and said Mom may have had a mini stroke. She got a shot of her liquid morphine and it seemed to bring her around :) I will be googling this mini stroke stuff now too.
I hope everyone had a nice weekend and thanks for thinking of us :)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Mom's Beer
Thursday-August 
26th: I went over to see Mom and Dad tonight. I arrived around 7:00pm or so w/a requested 6-pack of Budweiser Beer. My dad does not drink beer anymore, but he decided he wanted to tonight, so here is a pic of MOM w/her Mickey Mouse cup and her part of the beer...she had two cups, what the heck!? We can barely get her to eat, but Mmmmmm she liked that cold beer :) Dad said, "you deserve it, dear, after all the sh*t you've been through." We did a cheers :) I stayed until 1030pm talking and visiting w/Dad and seeing what I could do to make Mom more comfortable.
Unfortunately, Mom has bedsores on her legs, severe one on her hip and leg, and her heals are hurting her w/bedsores too :( I called DSHS today and got the same line of BS....this happens, blah blah, Hospice says she has what they can offer....blah, blah....she is dying....blah, blah. I took an egg crate in a soft pillow case and put it under her sore swollen foot.
Mom is no longer on her Fentanyl Pain Patch, as the nurse felt she does not have enough fatty tissue to soak up the medicine, so she is now on morphine tablets and liquid morphine. The tablets are time released, so they take time to take affect....Dad was up several times last night, but hopefully tonight they are back on track w/controlling her pain. Tonight the only thing that she was complaining about was her heal....I just wish I could buy everything in the world to make her feel better.
I love my Mom and Dad. I've been so lucky to have been raised by them.
26th: I went over to see Mom and Dad tonight. I arrived around 7:00pm or so w/a requested 6-pack of Budweiser Beer. My dad does not drink beer anymore, but he decided he wanted to tonight, so here is a pic of MOM w/her Mickey Mouse cup and her part of the beer...she had two cups, what the heck!? We can barely get her to eat, but Mmmmmm she liked that cold beer :) Dad said, "you deserve it, dear, after all the sh*t you've been through." We did a cheers :) I stayed until 1030pm talking and visiting w/Dad and seeing what I could do to make Mom more comfortable.Unfortunately, Mom has bedsores on her legs, severe one on her hip and leg, and her heals are hurting her w/bedsores too :( I called DSHS today and got the same line of BS....this happens, blah blah, Hospice says she has what they can offer....blah, blah....she is dying....blah, blah. I took an egg crate in a soft pillow case and put it under her sore swollen foot.
Mom is no longer on her Fentanyl Pain Patch, as the nurse felt she does not have enough fatty tissue to soak up the medicine, so she is now on morphine tablets and liquid morphine. The tablets are time released, so they take time to take affect....Dad was up several times last night, but hopefully tonight they are back on track w/controlling her pain. Tonight the only thing that she was complaining about was her heal....I just wish I could buy everything in the world to make her feel better.
I love my Mom and Dad. I've been so lucky to have been raised by them.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Ramblings of Stephanie's day....
I went to see Mom yesterday....trying to get there before she had to have her morphine. So my day went a little like this~
Ran around the house like a chicken w/head cut off, made some phone calls, made pancakes for the boys (Scott and Skylar), did my sit-ups, threw in some laundry and out the door around 1045am or so. Ran out of gas at the end of the neighborhood...YAY!!! I had to get out and start pushing the car (second time I've done this....stupid red car gas gauge lies!!), some neighborhood man stopped to help me (THANK YOU, NEIGHBORHOOD MAN, DALE)...he took me to gas station w/his gas can and we got some gas, he put it in my car and followed me back to gas station to make sure I made it. So far, I'm thinking....WAFD (what a f'ing day). I just need to get to my Mom's house. I need a Xanax already.
Got to the Mobile Home park and they are paving the roadways. So I had to park at the mailboxes and walk through to get to mom's house, (uuuuugggghhhhh!) in time to say "hi and I love you" and a little visiting, before the morphine. Dad had been calling me wondering where I was...stressing me out! Lauralei was also wanting to spend some time (as she was flying out the next day to go back home) w/me and vise versa, so I took her over to the Cold Stone Creamery, since we had both never been there before :) I stayed and visted until around 530pm.....I was about to leave around 4, but Mom said, "Awwwww.....", so I asked her if she wanted me to stay a little longer and she did....so I did! (I'm still stressing out that I left the boys for longer than I wanted to today and that I had to make dinner for my husband, since he goes to bed about 730). I got mom to eat some VEGGIE BEEF SOUP, one of those handheld "t0-go" soups...She drank about 1/8 of it, better than nothing!
I read her some of her poems, there was a funny one about her fishing off the river dock at our neighbors house in Baring and her catching a 4lb steelehead. I read it to her and she seemed to really enjoy it.
I made it home a little before 7pm I think...made salad and spaghetti for hubby and Scott. Skylar wanted mac n cheese.
Ahhhh, finally a cold beer, hubby telling me he is feeling unloved by me....what more could I ask for? I say another Xanax before I freak the hell out on someone~
It's so hard to show your own family they are loved when you are worried about your dying Mom. I feel like I'm dying too.
Ran around the house like a chicken w/head cut off, made some phone calls, made pancakes for the boys (Scott and Skylar), did my sit-ups, threw in some laundry and out the door around 1045am or so. Ran out of gas at the end of the neighborhood...YAY!!! I had to get out and start pushing the car (second time I've done this....stupid red car gas gauge lies!!), some neighborhood man stopped to help me (THANK YOU, NEIGHBORHOOD MAN, DALE)...he took me to gas station w/his gas can and we got some gas, he put it in my car and followed me back to gas station to make sure I made it. So far, I'm thinking....WAFD (what a f'ing day). I just need to get to my Mom's house. I need a Xanax already.
Got to the Mobile Home park and they are paving the roadways. So I had to park at the mailboxes and walk through to get to mom's house, (uuuuugggghhhhh!) in time to say "hi and I love you" and a little visiting, before the morphine. Dad had been calling me wondering where I was...stressing me out! Lauralei was also wanting to spend some time (as she was flying out the next day to go back home) w/me and vise versa, so I took her over to the Cold Stone Creamery, since we had both never been there before :) I stayed and visted until around 530pm.....I was about to leave around 4, but Mom said, "Awwwww.....", so I asked her if she wanted me to stay a little longer and she did....so I did! (I'm still stressing out that I left the boys for longer than I wanted to today and that I had to make dinner for my husband, since he goes to bed about 730). I got mom to eat some VEGGIE BEEF SOUP, one of those handheld "t0-go" soups...She drank about 1/8 of it, better than nothing!
I read her some of her poems, there was a funny one about her fishing off the river dock at our neighbors house in Baring and her catching a 4lb steelehead. I read it to her and she seemed to really enjoy it.
I made it home a little before 7pm I think...made salad and spaghetti for hubby and Scott. Skylar wanted mac n cheese.
Ahhhh, finally a cold beer, hubby telling me he is feeling unloved by me....what more could I ask for? I say another Xanax before I freak the hell out on someone~
It's so hard to show your own family they are loved when you are worried about your dying Mom. I feel like I'm dying too.
~A few of Mom's Poems~
What a gift she is leaving us with....Mom has quite a few poems from over the years...here are a few:
~Written for Steven, my husband of 30 or so years (so this one was written about 10 years ago)
You are my light in the darkness of my mind, you light my way thru all my frightened dreams & cold yesterdays, you are my light that brings many
tomorrows and clears away of all my sorrows.
~Written for my husband Steven
I hope you know I loved you, I hope you know I cared. I hope you know I lived my life for you, I hope you know my soul is bared
~Written for Stephanie (me!)
In those quiet times of long ago yesterday I sang my bsby a lullabye & now I'm singing the blues for she has left me wearing red high heel shoes.
~Written for my grandaughter
Stacie Lee
Shining star of my life your bright eyes and sunny smile bring light to my heart & eyes, you are a treasure, my hearts desire and your special beauty is that of which I'll never tire.
~Written for my daughter
Lauralei
Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei, you are so beautiful to me, you are like a mermaid out upon the sea. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei do you sing a siren's song, or to me do you belong. Oh Lauraleit, sweet Lauralei do you sit upon the rocks in the water there, do you sing to ship passing in air. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei.
~Written for the Baring Store~"Our little mountain store" Written for all the friends
Welcome to our little mountain store where people come for coffee, gossip and more. Welcome to our little mountain store where you see friends you have now and the ones before. Welcome to our little mountain store where you'll be there for the laughs & jokes galore. Welcome to our little mountain store; where once you come & we hope you'll come once again.
~Written for Steven, my husband of 30 or so years (so this one was written about 10 years ago)
You are my light in the darkness of my mind, you light my way thru all my frightened dreams & cold yesterdays, you are my light that brings many
tomorrows and clears away of all my sorrows.
~Written for my husband Steven
I hope you know I loved you, I hope you know I cared. I hope you know I lived my life for you, I hope you know my soul is bared
~Written for Stephanie (me!)
In those quiet times of long ago yesterday I sang my bsby a lullabye & now I'm singing the blues for she has left me wearing red high heel shoes.
~Written for my grandaughter
Stacie Lee
Shining star of my life your bright eyes and sunny smile bring light to my heart & eyes, you are a treasure, my hearts desire and your special beauty is that of which I'll never tire.
~Written for my daughter
Lauralei
Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei, you are so beautiful to me, you are like a mermaid out upon the sea. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei do you sing a siren's song, or to me do you belong. Oh Lauraleit, sweet Lauralei do you sit upon the rocks in the water there, do you sing to ship passing in air. Oh Lauralei, sweet Lauralei.
~Written for the Baring Store~"Our little mountain store" Written for all the friends
Welcome to our little mountain store where people come for coffee, gossip and more. Welcome to our little mountain store where you see friends you have now and the ones before. Welcome to our little mountain store where you'll be there for the laughs & jokes galore. Welcome to our little mountain store; where once you come & we hope you'll come once again.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Precious Moments
SUNDAY-AUG 22: I Talked to Dad for a bit this afternoon...(I left Thursday evening for a trip to Oregon to see William's Mom and Step-Dad near the Dunes). My Dad mentioned Mom has been having hard time breathing so he's had to give her morphine about once a day now. Dad also said Mom knows what's going on (that she is dying), and they've had some good talks and said these times are "Precious Moments"....(One reason I really didn't want to leave for 5 days).
MONDAY-August 23: Mom's Son, Lil' Vic, flew back to his home in St. Louis yesterday morning-what a nice man he is. It was so nice of him to fly out and be here for Mom....she definitely knows she is loved by him :) It was nice to get to know him better too.
Lauralei has been here for about 12 days and will fly back to her home in Clayton, NC. (she just moved there from Arkansas) tomorrow, Wednesday. I am sure her family will be happy to her back! Mom sure has enjoyed having her there 24/7. I know it's been hard on her to see Mom in so much pain though :( Dad said he sometimes just has to go outside and walk around for a minute.
I went to see Mom after we got home from our Oregon trip....Dad called me when I was already on my way and said she was in alot of pain and that he had just given her morphine again, so she was out cold sleeping. I was already on my way...I wanted to see her anyways.
Mom is not doing well...she is basically skin and bones :( Dad and Laura said she has not eaten for the past 4 days, can't even force her to. She has been taking sips of her juice though. Mom's legs and feet are really bothering her from laying in the bed so long. She has terrible bed sores, even though she is being repositioned, her skin is just breaking down - no intake of nutrition. So sad, we all feel just terrible for her. She has a nurse that comes by often, the nurse is very helpful and my mom really loves her.
TUESDAY-Aug24: Talked to Mom for a bit on the phone, she hopes she is awake to see me when I get there. I told my Dad I better head over soon! My dad is going to look at some apartments, that is a different story though....just one more stressful thing my Dad is dealing with. I don't remember if I mentioned he went to the Dr. for his inner ears/vertigo and he now has high blood pressure, blah! He is hanging in there, though!
Sometimes we feel it's like we are the "blind, leading the blind."
ONE OF MOM'S FAVORITE SAYINGS: "VIAS CON DIAS" (from the Freddy Fender song).
MONDAY-August 23: Mom's Son, Lil' Vic, flew back to his home in St. Louis yesterday morning-what a nice man he is. It was so nice of him to fly out and be here for Mom....she definitely knows she is loved by him :) It was nice to get to know him better too.
Lauralei has been here for about 12 days and will fly back to her home in Clayton, NC. (she just moved there from Arkansas) tomorrow, Wednesday. I am sure her family will be happy to her back! Mom sure has enjoyed having her there 24/7. I know it's been hard on her to see Mom in so much pain though :( Dad said he sometimes just has to go outside and walk around for a minute.
I went to see Mom after we got home from our Oregon trip....Dad called me when I was already on my way and said she was in alot of pain and that he had just given her morphine again, so she was out cold sleeping. I was already on my way...I wanted to see her anyways.
Mom is not doing well...she is basically skin and bones :( Dad and Laura said she has not eaten for the past 4 days, can't even force her to. She has been taking sips of her juice though. Mom's legs and feet are really bothering her from laying in the bed so long. She has terrible bed sores, even though she is being repositioned, her skin is just breaking down - no intake of nutrition. So sad, we all feel just terrible for her. She has a nurse that comes by often, the nurse is very helpful and my mom really loves her.
TUESDAY-Aug24: Talked to Mom for a bit on the phone, she hopes she is awake to see me when I get there. I told my Dad I better head over soon! My dad is going to look at some apartments, that is a different story though....just one more stressful thing my Dad is dealing with. I don't remember if I mentioned he went to the Dr. for his inner ears/vertigo and he now has high blood pressure, blah! He is hanging in there, though!
Sometimes we feel it's like we are the "blind, leading the blind."
ONE OF MOM'S FAVORITE SAYINGS: "VIAS CON DIAS" (from the Freddy Fender song).
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Mom still keeping us on our toes!
A couple of nice pictures....mom was awake :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juanita & Lauralei
Mom is hanging in there.....not sure how, but she is. She has been going into a coma-like state and sometimes we can't get her to respond for nothing!
Today mom has her son Lil' Vic flying in from St. Louis, MO :) When the nurse told her yesterday that he was coming she said, "Oh bullshit!".....lmao.
Juanita got here last Thursday and Lauralei arrived Friday/Saturday AM. (Two other daughters)~They have been a big help to dad. She did wake up and say, "YAKETY YAK YAK"...Dad and the girls figured she must of wanted peace and quiet? LOL....
Dad looks tired, he has been taking stuff to storage unit...he does not plan on staying in the home after mom passes away. Yesterday he said he didn't want to keep any pictures either....I told him he does and I will make him a nice frame w/pics of him and mom.....I'm still the bossy one! He's going to miss his "Sweetie."
Love to all and thanks for all your warm bright thoughts!
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